Edward (in response to the implication he's short)
"Don't call me small! I'll break down your feet and stick 'em on your head!"
"'Shorty'?! Could a shorty do this?! What else you wanna call me?! A half-pint beansprout midget?! I'm still growing, you backwater desert idiots!"
"Who're you callin' a mousy little pipsqueek?!"
"Who are you calling a pipsqueek midget?!"
"Who are you calling so short that he drowned when he stepped in the creek?!"
"Who are you calling so short you want to squish him like an ant?!"
"Who's so small that when they go out in public they have to wear a bright red coat just to be seen by everybody else?!"
"Who's a midget so tiny that when you take him to see a flea circus you have to put a leash on him to make sure you don't mix him up with the fleas, you jerk?!"
"Who's a micro-midget so small that his pocket watch doesn't fit into his pocket?!.... I fit into the pocket watch?!"
"Who are you calling an atomic shrimp so microscopic that even fleas crack on about his height?!"
"Who's so tiny that you find it hard to hit him on the head with your wrench as his head's so tiny you can't find it, Winry?!"
"Who's of such a small stature that if he ever put the hood of his red coat up on his head he'd resemble a chigger?!"
"Who's so small that if he steps foot in a nursery they'll say he's too small to be enrolled there?!"
"Who's so much of a pipsqueek that he trips over ants?!"
"Who's so small that the reason people think he doesn't read a newspaper is because it's bigger than he is and when he holds it he shrinks compared to its size?!"
"Who's the size of a five-year-old so much that people think his age is going down instead of up, you bastard?!"
"Who's so small that people call him the 'Karate Toddler' when he's fighting?!"
"Who are you calling a pipsqueak? You know, I'd be tall too in heels!"
"You calling me the 'Guinness Book of World Records' kind of shorty?!"
"Who are you calling a micro-sized halfpint who didn't grow up because he doesn't drink milk?!"
"OH NO!!! I JUST CALLED MYSELF A TINY LITTLE PIPSQUEAK!"
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